II. Self Awareness

Self Awareness

Learning Objective: To be aware of the ways in which the roots of our brokenness affect how we manage temptation, develop destructive patterns and process difficult emotions.


The second corner of growth towards sexual wholeness is self-awareness. We each need to be aware of the ways in which our brokenness affects our sexuality, including understanding the ways we’re tempted and some of the deeper reasons for those temptations. Every person faces some degree of sexual temptation to act outside of God’s plan. It’s our response to temptation that determines our personal responsibility and guilt, not the presence of temptation itself (Jam. 1:13-15; Heb. 4:15).

Healthy self-awareness of brokenness is an honesty with ourselves and agreement with God about our sin. The person who is growing in awareness will not merely acknowledge their specific sins but also be growing in sensitivity to the roots of their sin. The roots might include but aren’t limited to: wrong core beliefs about God and self, wounds from others, traumatic experiences, and our cultural influences. Understanding the situations and reasons behind our temptations toward sexual sin will help us take practical steps towards being “transformed by the renewing of our minds” (Romans 12:2) and will lead to greater freedom and Christ-likeness.

Give this Four Corners Self Evaluation to your disciple to help them understand what areas of growth might be most helpful for them to focus on.

Using this Sexual Wholeness Development Plan with a disciple can help them set specific goals and identify root issues while coach them through their journey.

Using the Faster Scale on a regular basis can help you discover emotions that are leading to temptation and underlying core beliefs.

Here is another version of the Faster Scale, with the addition of the Double Bind Worksheet

Practicing Naming Emotions can help us become more aware of what we’re feeling at any given time. Having a disciple use this worksheet daily to become more aware of what they’re feeling can help them understand the feelings driving compulsive behaviors.
Continue to the next corner, Intentional Practices.